Here’s What’s Up With Me

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For starters I can’t choose between that giph or

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But they both make me smile and I think they fit some of what I feel besides exhausted. Let’s just enjoy them both.

I told you before that Here’s What’s Up is going to be a regular series of posts ranging from topics about me (Here’s What’s Up With Me), bookish things (Here’s What’s Up Book Lovers) and stuff out in the world/news (Here’s What Else Is Up). While that post might not have given you a clear direction, look at these posts like this, they’re updates, insightful updates. To update my Here’s What’s Up post I will add that I’m going to post these every Saturday. That’s the plan so stay tuned. Now back to our regularly scheduled progam.

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Here’s What’s Up With Me [This Week]

Wow it has been a week, gosh. The last few days my mother (thank you, love her!) has been helping me move out of the apartment I’ve had for 11-1/2 years (it’s been that long). (To give credit where credit is due my sister helped me start the process.) Let me be honest people, I suck at moving. Some people just have a knack for it, I’m not that person. I’ll help you, and I’ll be helpful definitely, but moving my own stuff? Oh no…

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And I’m not done. But that’s fine. It’s spring cleaning time my friends! My apartment was small so I just figured hey, can’t be that bad. Yes it can. And it was. I did not realize how much I had gathered and collected over the years. Sacrifices must be made! Books though? Oh people leave me alone (yes all you non-book people in my life I’m talking to YOU) about getting rid of my books. People be like, oh toss it, just get rid of them.

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Shhh, I will be selling and giving some away, I need to make room, but that’s between me and you. But moving has made me want to purge real bad. Real bad.

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It is inspiring and scary. It’s not easy for me to get rid of stuff, I form weird attachments to things especially if I’ve had it for some time. The memories seem to embed themselves in these things like smells and stains. There’s a little stuffed bear I got for Valentine’s Day, aw it’s so cute. What! You’re a grown ass woman throw it away! OMG! And then I threw the bear away. You won’t convince me to throw it all away (amazing how many people find this so easy when it’s NOT their stuff) but I have seen the error in my ways. So Here’s What’s Up with me!

Getting rid of stuff is like shedding your skin. And if you’ve ever seen something after it’s shed you’ve seen how beautiful that new layer is. My Ball Python is iridescent and shiny after he sheds. He’s truly beautiful, more beautiful, handsome, whatever. This is an opportunity for me to be reborn, kind of, and kick off some cool stuff. There’s so much stress smog in my air these days something’s got to give and I tell you it’s going to be me. But as we kept saying moving heavy stuff down the stairs, this is a controlled slide.

Life will get the best of you sometimes and it will kick your ass. But you know, it doesn’t always have to be an uncontrolled slide. You can handle this. YOU. CAN. HANDLE. THIS.

At the beginning I thought yeah there’s a lot to do but we got this, won’t take that long. Near the end reality hit me. The truck was filling and there was still so much to do! I felt like I was about to have a panic attack or break down. I got to feeling like I really need to sit down, hide in a closet or something, close the door and put my head in my hands. Is this for real? Do I really have this much stuff? Are we going to be here all night? Oh my God I’m wearing her down. Oh my God she did not know she was going to have to work this hard. Oh my God I did not know it was going to be this hard! I’m terrible. This is terrible! I just wanted to run and scream. Maybe I should just leave all this stuff. Yeah, no.

First of all it would make me crazy to not know just what I left behind and not have made an intentional decision on each thing to be rid of it. And second, that’s just bad karma. No. Not right. But I do not need this stuff and I can’t handle any more stress in my life right now, I’m imploding! What have I done?! Oh gosh yeah I got this dramatic in my head because, it’s sad but it’s true. Life has gotten away from me. All of it.

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But I want better. I want more. This doesn’t have to be terrible. New is good. I love reading because through books I see other worlds, observations, viewpoints, and ways of life. New. I see different. In agitated almost panicked state, I needed a different view. Through writing I get to explore my own visions and experiences and imagination. Then I can take that out into the world and say, look at this, what do you think? What do you observe? Like books ask me, at least I think so sometimes.

But I can’t do these things if I’m always stressed out and holding on to things, figuratively and literally. If it’s not working for you let it go. I mean, get your work done. Don’t let that panicked state own you. Control that slide! So that’s why Here’s What’s Up With Me this week was about this move. Controlled slide. This move is catapulting me into this new direction because it was and is a call to action like so many other things in my life. From writing to work to the personal. A new chapter is here folks and I’m taking it all in. Moving isn’t just physical, it’s transformative.

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How’s about you, what’s up with you? Are you going through something transformative? On a small or grand scale, it all counts. Whether you’re transforming your arms to wings or shedding a whole layer of yourself, it’s something and YOU CAN FN DO IT. Don’t focus on how hard it is, that’ll drive you crazy. Picture what you want to do with this new self, or place, or phase, what have you. Picture your newness. Remember, theme for this spring, CONTROLLED SLIDES.

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